The Whisky Christmas Gift Guide

Welcome to my Whisky Christmas Gift Guide for the 2015 main event! I’m Juliette Hearsay, official buyer for the high street chain The Whisky Plop. I presume you’ve been tasked with purchasing a gift for that all important tweed gentleman or woman in your life? Frightened by the fashionista skyscraper pricing strategy of Harris Tweed and luxury grooming products for facial hair prompting you to suddenly remember their love of whisky?

Do not worry as you’re in the right place as I take you through some of the essential buys for the whisky enthusiast this season using my considerable knowledge and prouesse. This way when you step into one of our shops you’ll be ready for combat that all important decision when approached by one of our knowledgeable members of staff. Are you ready? Magnifique as our European chums would say! Let’s begin in no particular order.

Thanks to Bowmore (an Island off the coast of Great Britain) your Christmas nightmare is over. They’ve come to the rescue with this release of their Devil’s Cask but you’ll have to be super quick as it’s such a limited release they didn’t have time to number every bottle!

These have been flying off the shelves at The Whisky Plop in recent weeks. Just look how sexy and devilish that bottle is – ooh la la! This is non-chill filtered so you don’t have to put it in the fridge before drinking it. Just open and enjoy those hellish sherry flavours that’ll work wonders with that overcooked turkey and soggy Brussel sprouts on the 25^th.

Recent Macallan box sets have been out of reach of the middle classes and speculators. The hand outs of photography series comes with an added restriction that you own a Range Rover to be able to transport the accompanying packaging. They also take up too much space in our shops - sacre bleu!

We were all feeling a little ignored and overlooked until the Rare Cask was revealed. It’s exactly what it says on the chunky packaging Macallan and rare. The Macallan master whisky maker himself picked out the best casks to herald the character of the distillery; his crowning achievement is this stunning release. Age is just a label and who needs such a thing when you have a gloriously designed bottle and stopper such as this? A Christmas treat wonderfully priced for such a young vivacious le luxe spirit.

Whisky from Jura is joie de vivre in a bottle. It is so popular it has been in a constant in our Top 5 selling whiskies since we started taking kickbacks from our chums. The way it glows in the dark captures the vibrant sunsets of Jura and Hatterson self-tanner product range. Lightly peated it offers depth and complexity way in advance of any other Islay distillery.

 

Once tasted it'll change your outlook on life truly the crème de la crème!

Par excellence in a bottle. From the Legends of Diageo comes the 2015 Port Ellen Special Release, that won’t be repeated for 12 months. This charity trust has opened its vaults once again and listed to consumer feedback about wasteful packaging and unaffordable prices.

 

Just 2964 expressions were released from the 1983 vintage. I was granted VIP status and invited to their 2015 Special Releases preview evening recently in London. The haute cuisine evening of the whisky world. It tasted strongly of bonfires, decaying dollar bills and I loved every crasseux moment of it ignoring the asking price. It is a fait accompli. Visit one of our stores and gaze upon each of the last 6 Port Ellen releases; standing tall, guiding us towards the next revelation.

The Whisky Bible for those who know their stuff by leading aficionados of tweed, facial hair and John Michel Jarre. After conquering the world of whisky they have taken their talent to other spirits of the world, uniting us all in a bottle.

This book comes as a double pack with the first smaller edition ideal for handbags and man bags; a vital tool when faced with a difficult question or bamboozled by the Waitrose spirits section. The second tome is coffee-table book ideal for impressing visitors or covering that Fettercairn stain that refuses to subside.

Ooh I was so excited with Monsieur David Beckham created this unique product for whisky fans. It brings the best of Eau de toilette and spirit together in the form of one liquid! A multi-use product with a luxurious appeal it has been very popular at our stores.

My clients generally enjoy bathing in Haig Club and using the empty bottle as an orchid stand. The lavish bottle stopper makes an ideal butt plug giving you and your partner hours of pleasure with just a single bottle. The perfect present for the Marquis de Sade in your life!

Superbe! The legends of Diageo sought a small overlooked distillery and deployed their finest artisan craftsmen and marketeers. This 24 hour emergency boutique makeover resulted in the crowning achievement of the Mortlach range today. Mortlach made magnifique!

The Mortlach 25 is the Napoleon of the whisky world. The refined bottle size allowed the craftsmen to reflect the heritage of Victorian engineering with a hybrid of Egyptian styling and modern day opulence. Each bottle comes with paragon plinth embossed with the paint flakes scrapped from the Forth Rail Bridge.

 

Merci beaucoup for spending a little time with my Christmas Gift Guide. Merci to Mr Rover for this space and please visit me in Piccadilly with any whisky questions.